Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
