I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
how does that bad decision feel?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
