i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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