I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
