I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
