Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
