So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
