I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I love having hate sex.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
