we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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