I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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