My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
