I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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