Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my phone needs a breathalizer
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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