dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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