I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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