he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
