I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize