Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
