in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i drank out of a bidet.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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