Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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