I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
