There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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