So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
