she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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