it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
