This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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