yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
