Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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