found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
please come you make the beer taste better
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
