Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Couch. On fire.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
