The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i now understand why vodka
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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