You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
birth control should be required to get into college
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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