It's just like the Real World with babies
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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