I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
