You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
