We named our party play list daddy issues
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
