i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
