Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
