The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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