Duck Duck Cougar?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
