accomplished twins. life is a go
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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