Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
