the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize