last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
