booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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