Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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