so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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