Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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