He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
