This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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