So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize