Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
