Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
