the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
