508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize