if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
