The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize