Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
