dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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