Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
