We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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