Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
