haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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