my room smells like sperm. sweet.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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