the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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