And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Sorry my hands just texted you
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize