I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
