She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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