I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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