I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize