i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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