soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
