He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
