Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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