okay pat passed out under dana's car
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
