My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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